Why the pandemic is causing spikes in break-ups and divorces in the world

 

Due to extramarital affairs ... divorce

In 2011, Prothom Alo published a report of this reporter under the headline 'Divorce is now also a tool of protest for women'. According to the Dhaka North and South City Corporation, divorce notices have been coming from wives for several years.

Divorce is being enforced through arbitral tribunals in 10 areas of DCC. The people concerned said that in the divorce notice, the women are mentioning various reasons including suspicious attitude of the husband, adultery, dowry demand, leaving the country and not coming back, drug addiction, impotence.

Many have tried to reconcile the issue with the influence of Western world and sky culture and women's empowerment. Upper and middle class women are ahead of poor women in divorce. Many cannot accept marriage as 'slavery'.

According to the North City Corporation, of the 2,563 divorces that took effect in 2011, 1,063 were sent by women. Of the 3,530 divorces that took effect in 2015, 2,084 were notices sent by women. In about 80 percent of the cases, the wives are sending divorce notices.

According to the information provided by Dhaka South City Corporation Region 4, 198 divorce notices have been received till June this year. Of these, 142 were given notices by the wife.

One person, who did not want to be named, said that after marriage as a family, he found out that one of his aunts had an affair with her husband. She divorced her husband after three months.

Another said the boy lives in London. Good pot. So the family gets married. The boys give heavy jewelry including diamond rings during the wedding. They got married with pomp and circumstance. But the marriage did not last even a week. The girl complained of impotence against the boy. Then the girl's family found out that all the jewelry given in the wedding including the diamond ring was fake.

The son also has various reasons for divorce. One of them said that after marriage, it seemed that his wife's 'walking' was not good. So the boy divorced the girl with 1 lakh rupees. The girl's poor family has accepted it. Divorce without getting dowry is happening every day. In many cases, there are various allegations including extramarital affairs of the wife.

Sociologist Sadeka Halim, a professor at Dhaka University, sees divorce not as a woman's empowerment but as a legal right. Women are able to exercise this right because they have become self-reliant and aware. Regarding the tendency to decide to divorce quickly after marriage, Sadeka Halim said, "Now children from urban, especially affluent families, have been socializing with each other since before marriage.However, there is no sense of responsibility before marriage. The marriage is going on. When it comes to marital responsibility after marriage, it may be frustrating. '

Origin and history of foreign love

Foreign love is a prominent part of the Vaishnava religion established by Sri Chaitanya. That is, in the language of the present age, illicit love and adultery with a foreigner. The famous historian Shri Ramesh Chandra Majumdar has said in the second volume of his 'History of Bengal' that it is impossible to describe it in detail without disrespecting the tastes of the present time.

 

According to him, the surprising thing is that this extramarital affair, that is, the legal love affair with the concubine's wife, is considered to be much better in spiritual terms. Vaishnavism thought and still thinks, it is possible to get the company of God through love. And the first step of this love is foreignness. Bhagavata love appears through extramarital affairs. It is possible to realize the nature of love. And through the pursuit of this love, one can attain nearness to God.

Religiously and culturally marriage serves as an institution. Beyond that value, the issue of personal will and reluctance is becoming more important now. Many are quick to decide that they do not want to endure torture or conflict. It is good for her and for herself if she has children. Because life is one. Sadeka Halim currently refers to the situation as a 'transition phase'.

The number of divorces is increasing. Such a news is circulating through the news. Is this news really new? Or has it come up for discussion again? Although the issue is not new, the rate of increase in this number in Corona is much higher than before. However, this is also the highest number of separations. It is known that an average of 39 divorces take place every day in Dhaka. Only in Dhaka? In fact, the same picture is everywhere in the country. Statistics show that there are more women on the divorce list.Women, be they urban or mobs, educated or uneducated, rich or working, are divorcing at a much higher rate than ever before.

Although the survey says a lot as a reason, my personal analysis says the main reason is the difference in cultural or taste between two people living together. ‘Marriage’ is a social process. Whenever people entered the family system from primitive society, one of the conditions of the custom was to bring a lasting solution to the male-female relationship.

 In the prevailing social norm, extramarital relations between men and women are considered 'illegal'. But can a relationship between two conscious and conscious people really be tagged as 'legal' or 'illegal'?I know, it's hard to argue about this, but once we think about it, we can understand that an unwritten law called 'marriage' actually forces two people to live together. Once someone has signed a blue paper, they have to stay under one roof for the rest of their lives.This rule is still in force. The era has changed. There is a growing awareness among people about their own likes and dislikes. Especially among women. Whereas in the past, expressing like women meant "disobedience", now women are much more independent and aware. In this society, women also have the right to speak and have the courage to present their position.Women have learned to prioritize their own choices. A woman can choose her comfortable life without denying family ties.

This is the change. Here is the danger. Whether a working woman is a worker or a high-ranking official, whenever she wants to live like herself, the society becomes an obstacle. Involving two people in a relationship called husband or wife does not mean buying one over the other.

 No man or woman has the right to deny the individual. Every human being has a world of his own and the name of accepting this world easily is 'relationship'. In fact, if marriage means 'chain', then there must be a melody to break the shackles. If there is a difference of taste between two people in married life, then there will be a dilemma.Family means equal participation of two. No one will acquire or dominate anyone. Family does not mean that one will run at 100 miles and the other will fall at 40 miles. If the speed is not equal, at least if Chakachi does not come, then some will go ahead and some will go back.The movement of the world stops as it moves forward and backward. People from two different poles can also live together if they accept each other easily and individually. No one in this world is like anyone else.

>>Stay with husband

If the wife fears that she will not be able to control herself in the absence of her husband or that she will be involved in adultery and wickedness; In the eyes of the Shari'ah, then, the husband has the right to claim that-

- Maybe he (husband) will take her (wife) abroad. Or

-Husband will leave her alone and refrain from traveling abroad or far away.

 

Because one of the purposes of marriage is to protect one's self-respect and to protect oneself from sinful deeds.

>>Open divorce

It is permissible for a husband to take an 'open divorce' if he goes far away to earn money, ignoring his wife's demands, advice or prohibition to stay together. This distracts one of the main purposes of marriage due to the husband's distant position and the woman's faith and character are damaged or more likely to be damaged.

 

-Open divorce: An open divorce is when the wife separates herself in exchange for something. In this case, the husband will accept the exchange and divorce the wife. This exchange may be due to the dowry money given by the husband or more or less.

>>To act

If none of the above is possible for those whose husbands are away -

- Be patient,

- Will observe regular naafil fasts; Especially on Mondays and Thursdays and on the 13th, 14th and 15th of the Arabic month of Iyam. And

- Trying to keep oneself engaged in worship, including recitation and study of the Qur'an, acquiring Islamic knowledge, worldly and other useful activities.

 

>> Keep in touch with husband

Continue to do your utmost to maintain good relationship and love for each other by maintaining regular contact with the husband.

 

>> Avoid pornographic entertainment

Stay away from dramas, movies, music, obscenity and all kinds of sexual arousal. Because these sexually arousing things increase the bad instincts and desires in the human mind. So it is very important to refrain from it.

 

>> Stay away from mahram in Gair

Not meeting and communicating with strangers who are not mahram. Because it is very important to maintain character purity and mental purity.

Especially in the absence of the husband-

Not allowing the husband or his close relatives such as brother-in-law, brother-in-law, cousin-in-law, cousin-in-law, cousin-in-law, brother-in-law (brother-in-law) to enter his house. If there is no need, it is better not to communicate or meet.

 

If absolutely necessary, talk from behind without coming to the front with a full screen. Laughter, emotion and soft voices must also be avoided when speaking.

>> Stay away from fetna

It is obligatory to refrain from laughing, mischievousness, fights, face-to-face games, touching and unnecessarily exchanging glances, conversations, phone conversations, messaging, video chatting with men.

Because fetna takes place through these activities. And through it germinates the seeds of deadly crimes such as adultery, fornication, and wickedness.

 

>> Stay with faithful women

It is better for wives whose husbands stay away from their families not to live alone in order to escape Satan's intrigues and evil inclinations. Those who have children, they will keep with the children. If it is not possible to have children, it is better to stay with mother, sister, sister's daughter, brother's daughter, sister-in-law, mother-in-law, mother, father or close relatives.

 

>> Don't go out unnecessarily

Do not go out of the house or home. If there is a need to go out nearby, go out with a full screen and do the proper duty. Things to look out for when going out. That is-

-Do not use perfume in any way. Which attracts people.

-Do not accept decorations that attract the attention of strangers.

-Keep hands, face and feet covered.

- Burqa and hijab should not be glamorous.

 

>> Fear God

Above all, to fear the great God more and more. To keep in mind the punishment of this world as well as the punishment of Hell in the Hereafter for adultery, wickedness and fornication. Remembering the passionate and loving words of the wife or husband more and more and praying to Allah for help for the beloved person and for oneself.

 

Foreign relations, this is not a new thing! In today's world as well as in our country, the trend has increased at a huge rate. Nowadays, mobile phones, Facebook and other technologies are in the hands of people, so nowadays it is much easier to build foreign relationships. But what is this extramarital affair? Why is it developing? What is the way to prevent it?

Fornication is the act of having an affair with another man or woman despite having a married life. Most extramarital affairs are formed to satisfy the physical and mental needs of men and women. In our society, even in religion, this extramarital affair has been termed as an illicit affair. But have we ever tried to understand or understand why the rate of this relationship has increased in our society, in our country? Women or men are not satisfied with their married life?The answer is, we are primarily responsible. Due to some of our wrong decisions, the rate of this extramarital affair has increased and divorce is taking place in every house. Sociologists can better analyze it. However, in my opinion, the following are some of the main reasons-

1. Marriage at a young age: Many young people get married at an early age due to emotions. Mental intelligence does not work in a boy or a girl at this time. Emotion is bigger than reason. Due to which, soon after the marriage, there are various differences of opinion between the husband and wife and it is during this time that the husband or wife becomes involved in extramarital affairs. As a result, at some point this married life goes to the stage of divorce.

2. Physical problems: This is the main problem in married life. This problem occurs only when the husband and wife are of the same age or if the wife is older than the husband. Due to which those husbands or wives become addicted to strangers with someone else.

3. Choosing the wrong person in case of marriage: Basically this problem is more common in the case of Orange marriage or marriage according to the choice of the guardian. Parents often think of their own children and marry their children in a hurry without seeing or hearing anything good or bad. But they do not give priority to the choice or opinion of the children. As a result, the married life of these boys and girls is not happy. And then they lose their mental balance and later they start moving towards foreigners.

4. Becoming a Guardian Shortly After Marriage: Strictly speaking, it is a fact that after marriage, the sweetness between husband and wife changes drastically when they become guardians. After a child comes into the family, more importance is given to the children. Husbands and wives are not able to spend time with each other because they are too busy with their children. Due to which there is no love like before. That's when the minds of those men or women go out, that is, they become involved in foreign affairs.

5. Career Advancement: Although very sad, it is true. Some men or women engage in extramarital affairs with their workplace managers or top level bosses in order to accelerate their career promotion. Because they think that by doing so, they will get various opportunities in the job. But it's a completely wrong idea! On the contrary, it destroys a person's personality, his character identity.Just as these relationships do not last long, so the risk of losing a job is 100%. These later had an effect on the children of the family. Faith, love, respect are all destroyed, because of this temporary extramarital affair.

Solution: As this problem has increased in our country like other countries, so these need to be remedied quickly. Only man himself can solve this problem. Every decision must be made with conscience, not with emotion. Society and family should have special knowledge and thoughts on the above mentioned issues. Only then will it be possible to remove this curse called foreignness from the society.